And this number is constantly growing. An increasing number of homosexual couples are expressing a desire to become parents through adoption, artificial insemination or the use of so-called surrogate mothers. In addition, there are men and women who already had children in traditional families, but later changed their sexual orientation. In some cases, such parents remain legally married until the children grow up, but sometimes they get divorced and continue to participate in the upbringing of children together with the former spouse.

If you yourself have a traditional sexual orientation, then you may have doubts about whether such a family is suitable for raising a child. If you yourself are a gay or lesbian, then you have probably already encountered the difficulties that arise in a non-traditional family. The experience of such couples can be very different, depending on where they live. In some areas, society considers such families quite acceptable, in others it is so negative that even discussing these problems becomes possible only within one's own family. This makes their life even more difficult.

How does it affect children

There have been numerous studies examining the development of children in homosexual families. As a result, a lot of interesting information was obtained. The test for psychological adjustment does not show significant differences between mental well-being in children brought up in ordinary and homosexual families. As in any other family, the most important thing for children is the love and care of their parents and that. how aware they are of children's needs and needs. Homosexual parents can be just as affectionate and caring (or just as careless) as heterosexual parents, and it's no surprise that their children's mental health levels are comparable.

Research also shows that children growing up in homosexual families have a predominant tendency towards heterosexual development, just like children from traditional families. Moreover, these children often show greater tolerance for different types of sexual orientation and are more sensitive to gender minorities. Most studies show that gays and lesbians make a special effort to instill in their children the concept of male and female role models. In addition, child sexual abuse in homosexual families is less common. The main part of such incidents occurs precisely in heterosexual families, where fathers most often act as perpetrators.

Children in homosexual families face the same problems as all other minorities in society. They may be bullied at school, they may be ashamed if classmates find out that their parents are homosexual. Such suffering can become truly unbearable if teachers, school leaders and parents of classmates do not even try to stand up for them.

For children whose personality is still being formed, the realization that their peers treat them as outcasts, as a threat to society, can cause a deep emotional crisis. Of course, such tests in childhood can strengthen character and instill in a person a sense of compassion for others (and this often happens), but the process itself can be very painful for both parents and the child. In many schools, teachers thwart children's attempts to mock the values ​​and lifestyles of members of other cultural groups. In such schools, there is also much less chance that children from alternative families will be teased there.

The scientific evidence clearly demonstrates that children can be raised in homosexual families just as well as in traditional ones. Good parents are always good parents. It would be much more reasonable to ask how much parents love their children, how consistently and skillfully they raise them, than to be interested in the details of their intimate relationships.

bullying

If you are from a homosexual family, then one of the problems that you will have to face (as well as representatives of other cultural minorities) is bullying against your children. Like most parents, you seek to protect your child from any troubles in life, although in reality this is almost impossible. I recommend talking to your child when he is still very young and explaining to him intelligibly the peculiarities of your family and its difference from the families of most other children. When the child is older, you can discuss with him the question that many people are afraid of everything unusual and incomprehensible. If people are frightened, then this may manifest itself in the fact that they will tease him and mock him. You can play several scenarios with your child to help him make the right decision if this happens and teach him to explain to other children what is special about your family. As in any other difficult situation, open and honest communication between you and the child is of the utmost importance in this case.

If you do not hide your sexual orientation in front of others, then in the event of a similar problem, I would also suggest going to the child's school and discussing this issue with teachers. All parents and all children are constantly faced with a variety of problems. Your task is not to protect the child from all stress and trouble. It's impossible, and you know it very well. You must use the situations that arise to instill in the child the need to show tolerance, empathy and concern for others.

Legal aspects

Recent court decisions have given hope to gay families. In Canada, same-sex marriage is now legal. In the United States, the Supreme Court upheld the right of adults to maintain homosexual relationships and overturned their prosecution by law. However, existing legislation still makes life difficult for homosexual parents.

Since same-sex marriage is still not officially recognized in the United States, situations sometimes arise when, for example, in relation to a child admitted to the hospital in critical condition, a medical decision can only be made with the consent of the official parents. You need to consult with an attorney on all legal aspects of raising a child. Many countries have already come to grips with this issue, and in some of them the legislation gives somewhat greater rights to parents raising children in homosexual families. You should familiarize yourself with the laws of the country in which you live.

Where to find support

There are now many books published for homosexual parents in which you can find useful advice. Support groups for children raised in alternative families and their parents have been set up in many cities. In addition, there are many excellent children's books that discuss problems in gay and lesbian families.

Help for heterosexual families

In recent years, public awareness of sexual minorities has increased so much that many parents of a traditional orientation are already well versed in this topic. At the same time, parents still have a lot of questions. For example, wouldn't it hurt a boy who has a dad and a mom to be friends with another boy who has two moms or two dads? The answer, in my opinion, is unambiguous - of course not. Children are surprisingly easy to accept the facts of life, if they are simply and intelligibly explained.

Worse, another situation may turn out to be when a child who has always been taught in the family that homosexuality is bad suddenly meets wonderful parents who have wonderful children. But there is one circumstance: these parents are same-sex. It will not be easy for a child to combine in his mind what he sees with his own eyes and what he was taught.

The negative attitude towards homosexual families is most often manifested, in my opinion, because of the fear that children in such a family will also grow up as homosexuals. There is no data to support this assumption. Sexual orientation seems to depend more on physiological factors. Sometimes rejection is explained by religious beliefs that view homosexuality as a sin. Children raised in these religious beliefs and who later turn out to be homosexual themselves may find it difficult to reconcile their lives and faiths.

Can children in same-sex families be happy? How do people around them treat them? Can a same-sex family raise a full-fledged child? Does parental sexual orientation affect children's preferences? "Paper" asked these questions to adults who grew up in "non-traditional" families: with two mothers, two fathers and the son of a "Swedish" family.

“They told me:“ I don’t have a single dad, but you have two! All in all, I was lucky.”

- What is your sexual orientation?- Traditional. I am loyal to sexual minorities, but for myself I do not consider other options, except for heterosexual relationships. - Please tell us about your parents.- They met by chance. We've been together for almost 20 years. - It turns out that you are a child from a previous relationship?- Yes. I don't talk to that parent. Wrong person, inadequate person. - Have you ever had the feeling that your mother is missing?- Do you miss the person who lives two blocks away or whom you have never seen in your life? So I don't get bored. This is a stranger and I don't know anything about her. - What did you call your second dad? That's what I call dad. Dad and dad. As a child, it was funny, I told everyone: “And I have two dads.” I had many acquaintances who lived in divorced families with one mother, and they said: “Well, here ... I don’t have a single dad, but you have two!” In general, I was lucky. In fact, this is very cool: I now find a common language with the guys very well, maybe better than most girls. I have no discomfort in communicating with the opposite sex. - Have you often met with a negative attitude towards your family?“People just don't always understand what's going on. Usually I say: “dad and stepfather”, and that suits everyone. It's not that people have a negative attitude towards same-sex families, it's just that they are so unfamiliar with it, so far from it, that it is sometimes difficult to explain. But you can explain. And then people understand if they are adequate. And I try not to communicate with inappropriate people. “I have always taken it for granted. Of course, at some point I thought that something was probably different ... But everyone lives in such different families: someone only with mom, someone only with dad, someone doesn’t understand at all. I don't think anyone will be surprised by anything. It surprises me on the contrary, when in traditional families people put some demands, ultimatums to each other. When people treat each other not as relatives and family, but as some kind of consumers who only pull from each other and give nothing in return. We don't have that. - How do you evaluate your childhood?- I think it was great. Very intense - all sorts of trips, trips in a big company. My dads always sewed suits for me, at school, in kindergarten ... I somehow danced the “snowflake”. My parents are generally very creative people, so since childhood, for example, I sang and played the violin. - I believe that not all people can bring up a normal person. And I think that this is basically not a topic for discussion. Then you can forbid ordinary people to have children - what if they can’t raise their child normally? This is the same nonsense. Of course, homosexuals are capable of raising a child if they are humanly adequate. I believe that a child should have a family in the first place. When my dads enrolled me in the first grade, two dads were entered in the “parents” column. They were told, they say, the most important thing is that there are two parents, and this is already cool and great.

“It happens that they joke about my young man something like:“ Is he not afraid of two mothers-in-law? ””

- What is your orientation?- I'm bisexual, but now in a heterosexual relationship. - To be honest, I do not remember how many years they have been together, but quite a long time. I am a child from a previous mother's relationship. I knew my father very well, but in recent years he did not keep much contact with us. - Did you have the feeling that you "miss" your father?- There was no lack of a father. Rather - the feeling that I miss one of my close people, relatives, because, unlike my younger sister, I remember him not from rare calls and meetings, but as a loving dad. - Do you remember the moment when you first realized that your family is different from others?- There was no such moment. The reason, perhaps, is that I have always seen that my family is different from others. When I was little, I saw a formidable bearded biker - my father, and my mother, who does not lag behind him in terms of the specificity of appearance, and grandmothers at the entrance, who always looked disapprovingly at our family. And then there was a second mother. And somehow it turned out that I was not surprised by this, and absolutely no one from my circle told me that it was bad. And they would say - did not believe. - Have you ever experienced uncomfortable situations with your family?- There was only one such situation when I was studying to be a designer, and in my group there was a girl who allowed herself rude and condemning statements about LGBT families and children in these families. The situation for her very quickly became uncomfortable, because we were talking then, and I told her that she, in fact, spoke unflatteringly about me and my family. - Did you have a happy childhood?“My sister and I had a wonderful childhood. If only because everything was always resolved calmly: our parents never yelled at us, did not raise their hand. There are many vivid memories: when they put me on a motorcycle for the first time, how I went with my mothers to other cities and to the beach, just walks. - How do your parents feel about your orientation, your relationship with partners?- Wonderful. Of course, it happens that they make playful pretentious faces and say something about my young man like: “Is he not afraid of two mothers-in-law?”. - Quite. I live with a young man for a long time. We support each other and live the way normal, healthy couples usually live. - In your opinion, is a non-traditional family capable of raising a full-fledged child?- Yes. One should not think that if two women organized a family, then these are two vanilla-infantile persons. This is wrong. And vice versa, if these are two men, then this is also something similar. These are quite a full-fledged couple with quite a full-fledged relationship and vision of the world. Therefore, I do not see any obstacles here.

“We don’t need stupid weddings or anything else that annoys society, but at least some kind of civil partnership”

- What is your orientation?- Hey. - Please tell us about your parents.- My mother was a skater. She was trained by the former champion of the USSR. At the same time, she studied to be an investigator. I met my father while studying. They had such a small company - the father and his friend - friends from childhood, young lieutenants. And then a delicate situation arose - they were so "not spilling water" that the question arose: whose girlfriend would she be? Here, as I understand it, they began to compete, but as a result they decided not to lose their friendship and asked my mother who she wants to stay with. And she answered: I cannot choose any of you. And then someone said, they say, maybe we will live as one friendly family? And everyone agreed. They met at the age of 22, I was born when they were 25. Naturally, they issued documents with the same father. Who am I from? I can’t say for sure - at that time no genetic research was carried out, and then it already lost all meaning. - Didn't the dads have homosexual relationships with each other?- Of course not. Or I just didn't know. We had an open family, but not to the same extent. What happens in their bedroom there is none of my business. - What did you call your parents? They were two dads, and that's what you called them?- Yes, I called them "daddy" and "daddy" and that's it. There were no questions in kindergarten or school. I told everyone that I have two dads, and as a rule, no one listens to a child. - Did you have a moment in childhood when you suddenly realized that your family is somehow different from others?- On the contrary, even. When my friends asked me: “Do you have two dads?”, I said: “Yes, I have two dads,” and they were just jealous. Then, when he began to grow up, sometimes the neighbors gossiped. - Were there any bright and unpleasant moments associated with a misunderstanding of others?- Well, once a classmate told me that my mother, roughly speaking, was a prostitute, and then I stuffed, excuse me, my peer in the face. All. There was nothing else special. - Did you have a happy childhood? What are your brightest and happiest family memories?- I had no problems at all until I began to live an independent life, for which, however, I was prepared by my parents. I have had a vibrant, full life. Night hikes, fishing trips, football. In winter - skiing. Taking into account the fact that both the fathers earned a lot, and the mother was in the service in Soviet times. We rested together, even went abroad. I didn't have any negative feelings. And when I felt bad, there were no such situations when I could not turn to one of the parents for a question or for advice. - Do you think that an unconventional family somehow influenced your orientation?- No, absolutely. I only came to the realization that I was gay around the age of 17-18. How satisfied are you with your personal life?- I feel clearly not thirty-six, but a maximum of twenty. I'm happy. I have everything that I want. We've been together for 14 years. We have a place to live, we have big plans. We do not experience financial problems, because we earn normally, we travel a lot. If, of course, not for this stupid situation in the country, we could use the services of a surrogate mother. We have money for this and we know that our relationship will be destroyed only if the world collapses. We have no doubts about our future, but in our country it is unrealistic for same-sex couples to have a child. What if a brick falls on me tomorrow or I have a heart attack, and my partner and I are legally nobody to each other. In our country, even an elementary partnership cannot be formalized. No need for stupid weddings or anything else that irritates society, but at least some kind of civil partnership. - In your opinion, is a non-traditional family capable of raising a full-fledged child?- Yes, exactly. If my dream of having a child comes true - but I feel that it will only come true when we go abroad - we can give everything to the child that we will have: both a good education and our love. Because I will educate him in the same spirit that my parents raised me, and teach him what they taught me - openness, trust and love.

Back in 2006, the German Federal Ministry of Justice commissioned a large-scale study of same-sex families. The study was carried out by the Bavarian State Institute for Family Studies under Bamberg University in cooperation with the Bavarian State Institute for Early Pedagogy in Munich. The head of the study is Marina Rupp, who has been acting director of the Institute for Family Studies in Bamberg since 2003.

(Photo: uni-bamberg.de. In the photo: the head of the study, Marina Rupp, presents the results of the studies to the Minister of Justice, Brigitte Cupris)

Sample

The study was conducted from 2006 to 2009 and was officially published in July 2009. The researchers came into contact with 13,000 same-sex couples. As a result, it was eventually questioned 1059 parents representing 767 same-sex families (sometimes both partners were interviewed, sometimes only one). Based on the interview data, information was collected about 852 children. Most of the interviewed parents (866 people or 625 same-sex families - not in all cases both partners were interviewed) were in a registered civil partnership. Also, 142 same-sex families (or 193 people) who are not in a civil partnership took part in the study. In addition, ten other same-sex couples participated in the study prior to the large-scale survey at the questionnaire design stage.

It was also surveyed 123 children aged 10 to 18 living in same-sex families. Among them, 95 children are in registered partnerships. Most of them (93%) lived with two mothers at the time of the survey, and only 7% lived with two fathers. Most of these children, in contrast to the children from the first "parental" survey, came from previous heterosexual relationships (78%).

The representativeness of the survey of parents in same-sex partnerships was 32 percent. The representativeness of the children's survey is 5 percent. It should be noted that the sample is considered representative when it reaches one percent. Thus, this study became the largest study in the field of same-sex families, in which the US has always been the leader.

At the end of the study, a survey was conducted 29 experts - lawyers, family therapists, teachers, educators, employees of departments for children and youth, who described their observations when working with children from same-sex families.

Photo - Andrey Ditzel

Research results

How many children in Germany are raised by homosexual parents?

As of 2008, there were about 68,400 same-sex couples living in Germany, of which about 15,800 couples (23%) were in registered partnerships, of which 65% of partnerships were entered into by men and 35% by women.

About 89% of registered couples do not have children. Among the total number of same-sex couples (both registered and unregistered), 93% of couples live without children. Approximately 64% of same-sex families with children have only one child, 27% have two and 8% have three or more children. About 40% of same-sex families want or plan to replenish the family.

As of 2008, there were about 7,000 children in Germany raised in same-sex families, of which 2,200 were in registered civil partnerships. About 92% of children from "rainbow families" live with two mothers and about 8% - with two fathers.

Where do children in registered same-sex couples come from?

About 48% of children raised by registered same-sex couples were born in this same-sex family, about 44% were born as a result of previous heterosexual relationships. Only about 1.9% of the children were adopted. Another 6% of children live on the right of pupils, being neither relatives nor foster children.

A quarter of the natural children of one partner are adopted by the second partner. Almost all such children (94%) are born in a registered partnership between two women.

Do homosexual parenting methods differ?

Homosexual parents are in no way inferior in their parental competence to heterosexual parents. The differences found in upbringing and family climate are only positive. As a rule, homosexual parents are on average softer towards their children and try to avoid harsh sanctions towards them. The family climate in same-sex families can be described as positive; it is characterized by openness and the ability to speak on any topic.

In same-sex families, there is a more honest, flexible and democratic distribution of roles in the performance of household chores and replenishment of the family budget than in families of opposite sexes. This leads to the fact that the distribution of household chores is not subject to strict principles of gender roles, but is formed in accordance with interests, skills and professional skills.

Both mothers or both fathers participate in the educational process on an equal scale. Responsibilities to provide for the child, supervise him, accompany him to the doctor, to school and back, help with homework and other family chores are performed equally by both parents in a variable order. Special activities, such as sports, certain leisure activities, or arts, are shared by many children with only one parent who is more interested in the activity.

Same-sex couples attach great importance to ensuring that their children in the immediate environment of communication have sufficient contact with adults of both sexes.

Do children from same-sex families have contact with the second biological parent?

Children from same-sex families who came into the family from a previous heterosexual relationship or for whom the sperm donor is an acquaintance tend to have close and regular contact with the second biological parent (that is, a parent outside the same-sex partnership in which such children live). Moreover, these contacts are, on average, closer and more regular than similar contacts in heterosexual families that have survived a divorce.

The cases of conflict between divorced parents, the feeling of “tearing” between parents, and the conflicts of interest (“Which side are you on?”) that often exist between heterosexual separated couples are practically unknown to children from same-sex families who came to them from a heterosexual relationship.

How do children develop in same-sex families?

Children from same-sex families show positive personal and professional development, as well as positive development of emotional and social competencies. No prerequisites for depression were found. Moreover, children and adolescents from same-sex families show in some cases a higher level of self-esteem and self-esteem, they are more autonomous and independent in relation to their parents than children and adolescents from other forms of family arrangement.

Children from "rainbow families" are not inferior to children from other types of families in their age and sex development, in relation to age-related changes in their own body, in matters of interpersonal relationships with friends, intimate relationships, social maturation and independence from parents.

Children from same-sex families have higher scores in school and a better high school diploma than the national average, which, of course, is not due to the homosexuality of their parents, but to the quality of the climate in the family.

What do the children themselves say?

Children and adolescents living with same-sex parents in a civil partnership generally view their families positively and do not feel disadvantaged. They also describe mostly positive reactions from friends to the shape of their family. Some children, however, show concern about possible negative reactions from strangers or possible discrimination.

Daily coming out and discrimination

Most same-sex parents and their families live openly and do not hide the type of their family. At the same time, 98% of them are open among friends and relatives, 91% - at the workplace, 95% - for neighbors, 96% - in public institutions, 95% - in schools and kindergartens, for friends of children.

The majority of homosexual parents did not encounter cases of open discrimination and homophobia (63% - according to the results of the parents' survey, 53% - according to the results of the children's survey). The bulk of these discriminations are swearing and verbal abuse. Most same-sex families are of the opinion that society more openly perceives them if they openly accept themselves.

At the same time, one in two lesbian mothers and one in two gay fathers have experienced discrimination and rejection in their lives. Unfortunately, first of all, from their own parents. Approximately one in ten same-sex parents have a bad experience with government agencies. Every third same-sex family feels insecure when communicating with teaching staff.

What do the experts say?

About two-thirds of experts talk about the need to change the legal conditions for children living in same-sex families. Legal equalization of same-sex partnerships with heterosexual marriages is needed to improve the legal and economic security of children raised in "rainbow families".

Some say: a lesbian cannot give a child a standard heterosexual family "father - mother" and this will complicate the children's gender self-identification, the child will not be able to have a "normal" orientation, will be mentally traumatized. Others quite reasonably object: is it better with an alcoholic dad?

There are no normal families. Not only Douglas Copeland wrote about this in the book of the same name. They really do not exist, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents and the composition of the family in general. The whole question, as psychiatrists say, is being far from the norm and understanding what this norm is.

Less than a month ago, Sir Elton John was denied the adoption of a 14-month-old Ukrainian boy, Lyova, who has AIDS. According to Ukrainian laws, only a married couple can become adoptive parents, and same-sex marriages in an unmarried couple, as, indeed, in Russia, are not recognized. “Therefore, for us, Elton John is a lonely citizen,” the media quoted the verdict of Pavlenko, the Ukrainian Minister for Family Affairs.

The situation is different with “single citizens”, to whom the law in no way forbids getting pregnant in various available ways and even adopting a child without being officially married (“Private Correspondent” has already written about the first attempt of two Moscow lesbians to legalize their marriage).

Many famous women, such as Masha Gessen, are quite successful in raising children in their homosexual families. But the stars are a little different. And how is it in ordinary lesbian families?

The questions of "Private Correspondent" were answered by two Moscow lesbian mothers who are raising a lovely two-year-old daughter, Yana. Her biological mother Katya, who is called “mamaka”, is 23 years old, the second mother, Anya aka “mama”, is 22 years old.

- How can a child appear in a family of two lesbians?
- Although there are no officially same-sex families in Russia, in fact they exist and there are many of them. Several hundred families with children communicate only on the Internet. There are very few gays among them, mostly we are talking about couples of two women.

There are three main ways they appear in lesbian families.

Some children remain after marriage or relationships with a man, but are already brought up in a new family.

If two girls are thinking about a child while already living together, then, as a rule, they choose insemination with donor sperm, in a reproductive clinic or on their own.

To do this, they choose who will give birth and select a suitable man or use a sperm bank at the clinic.

The third way is adoption. In Russia, there is no adoption by same-sex couples, but nothing prevents one of the couple from adopting a child as a single mother, and raising a child together. While this method is not very popular, but there are examples. We are planning to adopt our second child.

- In psychology, it is generally accepted that a child, regardless of his gender, in childhood should have before his eyes the image of a woman and a man (it does not have to be a father, maybe an uncle, and a grandfather), looking at which the child learns the essence of the relationship and roles. What do you think of it? Does Yanka need an “image of a man” and is there one? Are there any courses/trainings for lesbian families where psychologists help solve the problems of raising children? Is there any value in these courses? Do you use the advice of psychologists?
- In general, there is no consensus among the community: someone thinks that it is safest to hide everything and not advertise your family composition, someone, like us, on the contrary, tries to be as open as possible. Different types of families need different advice, and making some universal courses is difficult. Nevertheless, there are attempts to create them, if I am not mistaken, in St. Petersburg.

We do not believe that the image of a man is obligatory, because the child sees the model of relations in the family anyway, but there will simply be men in the life of the child anyway: at school, in circles, among relatives, in families with friends, in books and movies. Nevertheless, we believe that it is extremely important for a child to know about the diversity of the world. And we try to communicate ourselves and we will be very happy to communicate with our daughter with a variety of people and families, including, of course, heterosexual ones. Our good friend has a husband and a son, the same age as Yana, we often meet. Plus, Yana has grandfathers.

- Do you have any problems with the clinic / kindergarten / nannies?
We didn't have any problems personally. If there is self-confidence and a willingness to kindly answer questions, then usually everyone is surprised and groaning for a while, but then they do not pay attention. Perhaps some of these people do not like something in our family, but as long as they do not voice their dissatisfaction, this is their right.

- Is it possible to legally formalize the "equality" of mothers in relation to the child? As I understand it, only one mother is recorded on the birth certificate, right?
- According to the laws of Russia, there is no equality yet, now legally a child can have only one mother. But recently a law has appeared that a parent can write an application in advance and choose a guardian for the child in case of his death or serious illness. This law is very convenient for same-sex couples, now they have a guarantee that if something bad happens to the biological mother, the child will remain with the second.

How are your responsibilities divided? One works, and the other sits with her daughter?
- Yes. When Yana grows up, she may go to kindergarten, then we will both work.

How are they perceived on the playground? Has it ever happened that parents inspire their children that it is bad to be gay or lesbian?
- To be honest, we have no idea how we are perceived on the site and whether they perceive us somehow at all. We have little contact with other parents there. Sometimes we walk in turns, sometimes all together. Yana calls both mothers, but I don't know if anyone noticed this.

Are there any other same-sex families with children among your friends?
We have very good friends, two girls and their two daughters. Unfortunately, they live in another city, and therefore we rarely see each other in person, we mostly communicate via the Internet. There are also many simply familiar families, also from various cities.

- How did your relatives perceive the appearance of the Yankee? Has something changed for the better?
- With relatives, everything is fine with us. No, it is, of course, better, but the way it is is also not bad. Parents have known everything about us for many years, they are not happy, but they understand that this is our life. When we first started dating, we were still teenagers and our parents thought that all this was stupid and would soon pass. Five years have passed since then, and they understand that everything is serious. Yana also helps, both grandmothers love her very much.

- When Yana grows up and asks why other children have one mother, and she has two, what will you tell her?
Let's show that families are different. Someone has only a mother, someone has a mother, father and stepfather, someone has a complete set of grandparents, someone has no grandmother, but has three brothers and sisters. And here we are.

Representatives of sexual minorities themselves usually insist that the tendency to an unusual sexual orientation is innate and it is almost impossible to force a person to be like everyone else, or, conversely, “not like that”.

Based on this, I don't think there is any reason to fear that we will one day fall into the era of the Amazons, when the role of a man will be reduced to the production of "material" for a sperm bank. And in a hundred years people will love. Some will love members of the opposite sex, others will love their own. But it still doesn't feel like the end of the world. It seems to me that humanity will destroy itself in completely different ways.

When I was preparing for the interview, I was in a somewhat wary mood. Still, I am an uncompromising heterosexual, and I have heard enough of psychiatrists. But, after talking with my mother Anya, I realized that their Yanka really grows up happy. And it’s hard to imagine how happy the child will be, whom Anya and Katya will soon take away from the orphanage and give him a good family.

I have an answer to the question of what kind of family is “acceptable” for a child. This is the family where everyone is happy! I know a family where mom and dad were completely indifferent to their daughter and her grandparents raised her perfectly. I know families where the stepfather became a native, and the father always remained a stranger. And many more different stories.

Because normal families do not exist. But they are happy.

Data taken from the site http://www.chaskor.ru